This is Love..

This Love existed before time began. It made humans to be His image bearers, and called them GOOD. This Love created a world of beauty for a people more concerned with their own. But this Love did not give up. It pursued and forgave us time and time again. It planted dreams in the hearts of man, seeing the beauty hidden in the darkness, fragments of Eden.

This Love sent a part of Himself into a broken and ugly world. He had every every reason to condemn it, but yet He walked in the dirt and looked into the eyes of the forgotten.

This Love surrendered EVERYTHING, and in His death cried 'Father, forgive them'. Those who had beaten and spat at their very creator! Darkness fell as the light of the world breathed His last and the curtain tore in two.

This Love could not be contained by death. Life entered those lungs as the Son of God walked the earth again. For nothing can defeat this Love. It was, it is and it will always be.

This Love rejoiced at my birth. This Love never left me when all my friends did, this Love cheered me on at school when I declared my love for Him. This Love held me when I was left brokenhearted, showing me that hope was just round the corner.

In my deepest, darkest moments, when all I can feel is shame, even then He says 'it was worth it'. He picks up this world weary soul and sings a love song over it, till my heart soars. He roars when the enemy attacks me, for I am his beloved, and my price is paid in FULL.

I don't know you, but I do know this Love is everything you are searching for. You will never find it in the arms of a lover. Indeed you will never find it in this world. It is pure and untainted, completely selfless and incredibly real. It has no hidden motives, no secret clauses. It was freely given thousands of years ago, by a man that 'had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him'. A man that is now in His rightful place, at the right hand of God.

This is Love. 

Grace in the harvest

It's been a heck of a long time since I last posted on here, and that isn't because I haven't been learning much recently, I promise you, I have been learning a LOT! Like how to ski, (which was a humbling experience if ever I've had one!) The truth is, I've had plenty of idea's of what to write, but I've just not felt strongly enough about any of them. Until now...

As I posted last time, God took me on a big old journey last summer, and for about six months it was really hard, but you know what? I had the best times with God I have ever experienced. He literally carried me, gave me grace to give others, (even though I haven't always been good at giving it!), and I just fell in love with my King. Head over heels.

So far, so great. Until, around Christmas, things just got better. A whole lot better. Relationships blossomed, healing took place, hope flourished and I had plenty of reasons to praise my Maker. And I did, and I do. But I have found it so much harder to feel close to God when my life is peaceful. If this is a season of harvest, why do I feel so dry?

Maybe it has a lot to do with this world we live in. Comfort and security are lifted high on a pedestal, and when we experience them, we find them pretty satisfying. Watching re-runs of Friends seems a whole lot easier than reading God's Word, and we don't really need too, right? Everything's going so good. 

The truth is we have just as many needs in the harvest as in our pain and suffering. We are in desperate need of His strength, His mercy, and His love. I mean, how can we be so selfish? Is it not possible that God is taking us through a time of peace so that we can reach out into the lives of those experiencing pain? Like me, you might be just catching your breath from a difficult experience, but I know what God has taught me isn't just for me alone. He blesses us so we can bless others, that way we can 'rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn'. Romans 12v15.

My Bible notes today discussed how Jesus met his disciples needs, from the most basic; a meal of bread and fish, to the most complex; forgiveness for their sins. It encouraged me to think over where I needed Jesus to meet me, and what hunger I needed Him to feed.

Maybe you are going through a season of pain right now, or maybe like me, you are in a good place, but honestly, we need Him to meet us in our weakness in both situations. No matter what we experience in this life, we are always in need of his Grace, which is as freely given in the harvest as it is in the flood.

Ps. He made this by the way. Did I mention He's totally awesome??

Thankfulness and trust

As I look back on the last few weeks and months of my life, I am blown away by the journey God has taken me on. And I can say without a doubt He has been entirely faithful.

In August I got the opportunity to work in a hospital in Rwanda for a couple of weeks with my best friend. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Rwanda is a beautiful country, filled with beautiful people, and I have some pretty amazing memories. Being able to serve people is a blessing, but when these people, who have absolutely nothing, only want to serve you....humbled is the right word.

Seeing the world gets a massive YES from me, but I won't lie, I got a little freaked out about travelling through not one, but three huge airports without my parents! (Yes, I'm pretty sheltered). That would have been enough to cope with, but a week before we flew I got some bad news. The kind of news you do not see coming, and hits you like a tonne of bricks.

As I boarded that flight out of Manchester Airport nobody would have blamed me for being terrified. But I wasn't. I've never felt peace like it. In fact, I had been like that the whole week before. I was confused myself, wondering why I wasn't crying myself to sleep or eating my weight in ice cream, but all I knew was that God knew what he was doing. Turns out that's all I needed to know.

Aside from all the things I got to see and and do in Rwanda, one of my favourite memories happened every morning, when I got up at 6 am to spend time with my Father. I would grab a jumper (the mornings were surprisingly cool) and cosy up in the little lounge, trying to avoid the geckos that were our uninvited roomies. And each morning God ministered to my heart, teaching me and loving me, and giving me peace over a situation I had no control over.

As I read back over the journal I wrote when I was out there, I read again and again about thankfulness and trust. He taught me to trust Him moment by moment, asking Him to show me the next step instead of rushing into it by myself, and He taught me to thank Him over and over, for even though the 'big' things didn't seem to be working out, He had still given me hundreds of things to be thankful for each day, whether that was listening to the beautiful church choir or the courage to jump into Lake Kivu from a big old cliff!

It's kind of funny that God had to take me all the way to Africa to teach me these basic lessons, but since I've come home I've realised how easy it is to slip back into old habits. Home in England, I have everything I need and more, and it's easy to want 'more, more, more' rather than see all the good things He has already given. It's been SO good to look back and remember what I learnt out there.

He IS all that I will ever need. What freedom to live in that knowledge, to live in surrender to the King of Kings, knowing He is Sovereign. What freedom to delight in each day, knowing He has filled it with blessings and trusting that He is the rock we can stand on whenever those punch-you-in-the-gut troubles come along. What a Saviour!

P.s, Today I'm thankful for this precious girl, Janet. Look at that smile!

Unfading beauty

I had the pleasure of coaching some little kids this week at a netball school, as well as sharing the love of Jesus with them. It was fun, and so exciting to see little hearts soak up the Good News. But, I couldn't enjoy it quite as much as I hoped. All week I knew my heart wasn't right. I could figure out that my gaze had slipped from him, but I didn't really know why.

I think a lot of it had to do with pride. My bible notes this week put it like this 'The simplest manifestation of pride is self - sufficiency. We feel that we can do it on our own, and we begin to measure everything and everyone by our own standards'. (ODJ July 29th, Poh Fang Chia)

I was so challenged by the above quote, particularly the part about is measuring others by our own standards. Recently I have found myself blaming someone for a situation they had nothing to do with, simply because I had no one else to blame. My attitude towards that person has been so wrong and has hindered me from making a friendship that could have been a real blessing. Sometimes things happen, and they suck, but I need to remind myself that God knows what he is doing, and I don't. Blaming someone is just another way of trying to control a situation that I don't have any rights to.

1 Peter 3v4 says it is a 'gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight'. In fact these traits are described as having 'unfading beauty', far above that of 'elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes'.

Lord, I pray that I might have a heart sold out for you, more concerned with glorifying your name than building my own. I pray that you would create in me a gentle and quiet spirit that would be of great worth in your sight. Amen. 

Planning for eternity...

So there I was, having a normal, just-before-bed conversation with my boyfriend, when he suddenly came out with something that changed, well, a lot.

"You have all these plans for us, but life's so short. You need to be more concerned with planning for eternity"

Wow! At first, I was a little shocked, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right. 

At his 21st earlier this year, a load of his friends jumped on him. (I will never understand why play fighting is considered the perfect present? Boys are strange!) I turned to my friend and said how upset I was that Roy was getting 'beaten up'. She just smiled and said, "Yeah, but Rachel, will this matter next week? Will it even matter tomorrow?" 

The truth is I'm (very) protective of the people I love. Without thinking, I hold onto their every need, worry and pain, and then I wonder why I feel so tired! God's the only one who can truly meet anyone's needs, the only one able is heal our wounds, and carry our burdens. Maybe it was time for a change of perspective.

I'm good at planning, but I know most of my plans are for myself, me striving to gain some kind of control over something much bigger than me. What if I spent each day planning for eternity; choosing Jesus in everything, and using my little life to build His Kingdom? 

So here goes! 

Love Rachel x

P.s This song sums it all up pretty nicely!