My alarm went off this morning at 6.30, and like every other day I put it on snooze for a good 15 minutes, snuggling back down under the covers and grabbing a few more precious minutes of sleep. Eventually I dragged myself out of bed and picked up my Bible and journal, and spent some time with Jesus, the way I try to most mornings. Sometimes I read the Bible and pray with joy, sometimes I spend more of the time writing down my struggles in my journal, as one long, needy prayer to the Father who always cares, even when what I'm saying is ridiculous. This morning was probably one of those mornings. In fact, I was still writing at 7.30, by which time I have usually eaten breakfast and packed up my lunch. I ran downstairs and grabbed some toast, thankful that I had leftovers for lunch, and then I quickly got ready for work. I was ten minutes late to pick up Hannah, which was unfortunate for her, because, like we have both been saying recently, it's got really cold all of a sudden.
And we drove to work. And we never once heard the sound of bombs falling. We didn't see loved ones clutch their chests because a bullet had just made contact with their chest and ended their life. We have never heard a gun shot. We have never had to flee everything we know, because the alternative is death, or something worse.
You see, I have been really challenged recently about what Christianity looks like here in the West. I'm currently reading a book by a missionary to Burundi, a country devastated by civil war. In his time their he regularly saw meaningless death and poverty, but he also saw many miracles and hundreds of people come to faith. His relationship with Jesus is radical. He see's the battle between God and the enemy every day, and because of it he is constantly on guard, wearing the armor of Christ and fighting with prayer and fasting.
As I've been reading it, I have thought about my own life, and so often I don't see a battle. And that scares me. Is my example of Jesus so weak that the enemy see's no reason to bother with me? I have a book sat by my bed with the potential to change the world, but so often I only glance over the pages. I am able to speak to Jesus 24/7, but so often my prayers are for an easier life for myself. Truth is, I find both reading the Bible and praying really, really hard, but I so often pretend to have it all together, life I'm super holy or something. Right now I feel like no one should look at me, because I'm so often such a poor example of Christianity.
But I don't want to be. I don't want my life to be easy, to be filled with 'things'. I don't want to be somebody that's only happy inside the four walls of church. I want to love people the way my King did. I want to wash feet, and serve, and see lives changed. I want to see people set free from pain and despair, and walk into the Kingdom as a child of God, as royalty.
I want to drop everything that keeps my hands so full, and instead be filled with Him.
Because there is a battle, right here, right now. In our towns and villages, lives are being lost under piles of stuff. People are looking everywhere for help, but keep getting more and more broken. Statistics say 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer from depression at some point in their lives. Here in the UK! This time last year, I was sat in a dirty, dark hut with an elderly lady who cooked her rice and beans on a small fire right next to where she slept. And she just couldn't stop smiling and praising Jesus. Yet how many people in this country feel that life isn't worth living? Wealth, beauty, admiration, it will never satisfy. We can keep looking and looking, and we will never get enough.
When I was at school, I could expect to be teased or humiliated for saying I loved Jesus, but now it seems people just don't really care. In the space of just a few years the national attitude seems to have changed to 'well, that's fine for you, I'm glad you have your religion, but please will you not preach it right next to me? Thanks so much'.
If only they could see that the thing they so desperately crave is found in the arms of Jesus. I think many of the problems and issues that surround us in the West stem from a need for acceptance and freedom from perfectionism, materialism, and selfishness. Most people just need to know that they are loved, really know it, the way I am learning to. They need to know this love isn't based on what they can do for something, it isn't bought, or earned, that it isn't found in anything they can give or gain. They need it to sink in to their soul, to wake up every morning and think 'God loves me so much He sent a part of Himself to pay the price that was on my head. He made me an individual, and today He has a plan for me. What can I do for Him?"
That's a life changer right there.
And maybe that's where you and I come in. Sinners, on death row if it wasn't for the extravagant saving grace and mercy of God. We know what it's like to live with Him, and we know where we would be without Him. Maybe we need to start realising that the only thing that matters about our lives is what we do for others, and for Jesus. We need to get on our knees each morning, and pray for strength, and open eyes, and the courage to step out of our comfort zone and face the cost. Believe me, I need to do this. I have spent the best part of this week stressing over my wedding dress. #facepalm.
So, from now on, I am going to start praying for God to open my eyes to the battle on my doorstep. I don't think it's going to be a pretty sight. I am probably going to wish I could go back. There is going to be a cost, and however easy it is to write that I'm ready now, I am going to struggle when it comes down to it.
But I love Jesus. His Word tells me to be on my guard, because we live in a fallen world, and the pavements of Kirkby Lonsdale are a battle ground. Hallelujah, praise Jesus, He has already won! Let's live like we believe it, and see our friends and families find Him too, before it's too late.
