Advent, And Preparing The Way

Today is the 1^st of December. The first day of Advent. The parallels are pretty striking in our home. We are waiting for a baby in more ways than one. Perhaps that is why Advent seems so special and sacred to me this year. As we are now officially on countdown for our little Christmas Day baby, I am also reminded so sharply of the Saviour, our Emmanuel, whose birth we celebrate on the 25^th December each year.

I was watching a video recently which discussed the differences between Christmas celebrations in the UK and the US. The girl representing the UK shrugged her shoulders and said ‘oh, Christmas isn’t a religious thing at all in the UK’.

I was horrified. Sure, I know Christmas has become commercialised and for many it is more about the presents, and the family and traditions then it is about a holy night, where God in human flesh humbled himself to be born in a manger, in a stable, in Bethlehem. But surely people still realise it’s the reason we have Christmas at all? Surely people still go to church for perhaps the only time in the year? Surely people still cast a tender glance at the nativity scenes in people’s homes or watch their child in the school nativity and remember an old, old story?

What gave me comfort in that moment? For that girl perhaps, Christmas isn’t about religion, or indeed about Jesus. But for me and my house, it is. For many of my friends it is. For people all around the world it is. And Jesus, that glorious name, will be lifted up and adored by His people this Christmas. The gates of hell shall not prevail against His church. They are still there, still waiting, still trusting, still coming to adore Him.

God gave me a verse for the third trimester of my pregnancy. It was Isaiah 40v3 ‘a voice of one calling: ‘In the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God’.

I had the sense that this season of slowing down was to be used to prepare the way for Him in my life. To let go of the things of the world and make space in my life for God, a straight highway for His will to be done, His glory to be revealed and for His comfort and peace to fill all my worries and concerns as I approached welcoming a new life into the world and the art of motherhood.  

Yesterday I finished work and started maternity leave. Today is the 1^st December. My advent reading this morning was entitled ‘Prepare the Way’.

This Christmas, I implore you to come away for a while, into His presence and prepare the way for Him. It’s easier for me, I know, because I’ve now finished work and my schedule looks much quieter for the next few weeks (provided baby E doesn’t show up early!) But perhaps it is even more important for you, busy with work, trying to fit in Christmas shopping and wrapping and card writing, nativity planning and family visiting and all the other not-bad but often distracting things we fill our lives with. You don’t HAVE to do any of it. The best decision you can ever make is to come away with Him for a while. Enter His rest. Embrace the holiness. Remember who you are. Remember how deeply you need a Saviour. Remember that He sent one. Remember that one day, He is coming back.

‘But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for Him to return as our Saviour’. Phil Ch3v20

This morning I listened to Hillsong’s Christmas album, The Peace Project while I had my quiet time. The first song Joy To the World had the simple chorus, ‘we will sing joy, we will sing joy, we will sing joy, joy to the world’

And it struck me.

We live in a world that needs some joy this Christmas. In our country alone newspapers and news programmes spark fear, as we wonder whether it will be deal or no deal, and how that will affect our country. People die in forest fires or in a restaurant by the gun of an ex soldier, traumatised by war.

And many people will find joy as they spend time with family and friends at Christmas. But that joy will only last a few days at best. The decorations and twinkle lights come down, and January starts, another year of uncertainty.

Friends, we hold TRUE JOY in our hearts. This is about more than just spending time with the Lord, to be refreshed and comforted and restored. This is about holding this joy in our hands and carrying it wherever we go. We have the opportunity to be light carriers this Christmas season.

God counts the stars and knows each one by name. He knows each one, just as He knows each one of us, our hopes, dreams, even the number of hairs on our head. He knows each one of His children, even those that don’t know Him yet. How he must wait in eager anticipation for the day when that child will turn their gaze on Him and confess their sin, and their need of Him. Like the gracious Father He is, He will gladly scoop them up, wash away their shame and past mistakes with His shed blood and hold them close, like a Shepherd with a lamb.

Let’s join Him in His work. This Advent, join me in preparing the way for Him in your hearts and homes. Let’s soak in His love and delight, until His joy fills our hearts to overflowing. Let’s carry that joy like treasure in our hands.

Like stars in the sky, there are those who wait. And they don’t know their Father yet

Yield Yourself To Me

‘I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing’.
Last summer I sat in a girls bible study, listening to worship music, and this verse came to mind. And then, the still, small voice of God whispered, ‘yield yourself to Me’.

That was the start of the journey, God preparing my heart for the challenge ahead. Once again He showed me grace I have never deserved.

Dictionary.com defines yielding as ‘inclined to give in, submissive, compliant’, or ‘tending to give way, especially under pressure; flexible; supplie; pliable’. Interestingly it also has this definition ‘(of a crop, soil etc), producing a yield; productive’. 

The story that led to us finding out we were expecting a baby is too long for this post. Perhaps one day I will share it. Suffice to say we had to wait, for just a little while. I am so very thankful for God’s timing.

Needless to say I had an idea of what would be best for Roy and I, and our family. I had to learn, month by month, to lay down my idea of what was right and to pursue Jesus. Slowly I started to learn that all I really need, is Him.

It took time for this to sink in for me. It’s hard, is it not, to let go of our plans. I had to learn to submit, to give way to the Lords way. To be like clay in His hands, supple and pliable. Oh these times in life are hard. But these are truly the times I have felt most satisfied in my relationship with Christ. I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew in whose hands I was held.

A miracle happened this Easter. And our child is due on Christmas Day. Jesus has already woven His story into this baby’s life. After all, baby Emerson was His child before He/She belonged to Roy and I. Dreamt up in the imagination of God, formed in the darkness of my womb.

I still feel like I am at the start of the story. I am definitely still on the journey of learning to yield. I don’t believe that women get pregnant because they ‘relax’, or because of really anything they do. God alone ordains creation. He alone decides the times of our lives.

So a year on, I’m still learning how to yield myself, and others to Him.

We Ellershaw’s have a very strong protective streak. I know this is an Ellershaw thing, because I have seen it over and over with my dad. Dad was not happy about other road users giving me abuse as I nervously learnt to drive. Dad stood up for me when a fellow netball player tried to take my position without the permission of the coach. Meanwhile mum was furiously whispering that it didn’t matter and that he shouldn’t make a fuss!

I’ve seen it in my brothers and I see it in me. I am very protective of the people I love. My big brother in law found this out early into my relationship with Roy. Let’s just say I have a pretty good death stare when someone takes the mick out of my guy! My friends have found it out over the years too. I was definitely the mother of my school friendship group. My friend Helen just started going out with my brother Mark and was telling me about a situation where he was in her corner. We laughed about the Ellershaw protective streak coming out in full force.

I am thankful for my father’s example of caring for and protecting his family. I’m thankful that I inherited his protective nature, because it meant I would step in when someone was being treated cruelly on the bus. I can’t stand to see people being treated unfairly or without respect.

I got my dad’s protective streak, and my mum’s fierce love. If I had my way I would protect the people I loved from any and everything that might harm them. This comes out the most with Roy. It comes out in the tiniest things, from him having a doctor’s appointment to confusion over how he might be paid for a job. I want to protect him from any type of pain, however small. So I worry. I worry and worry about the most insignificant things.

If I’m like this with Roy, an adult perfectly capable of looking after himself, imagine what I might be like with the tiny, helpless human I’m growing.

So yes, I’m still learning day by day to yield myself to God. To yield my hopes and plans to Him. To yield my people to Him. To trust that no matter what He might lead our family through, we can get through it because He is with us.

I have learnt a little more that God is enough for me. It comes through, as I wait to hear that precious heartbeat in a midwife appointment, or as the cool gel gets placed on my tummy and I wait to see the image of our little one on the screen.

It might break me in two, but I know in my heart that I can walk through anything if He is with me. And He is always with me.

I don’t need to play God, trying to protect people from pain that I have no control over. I don’t need to keep taking my problems out of His hands and obsess over how I can fix them. I am not the hero in the story of my life. Jesus is.

Recently I heard God’s whisper again. He said ‘tend to your own garden’. I’ve been praying over this, because I’m not totally sure what He means. But I’ve just realised that the verse he gave me last year is about vines and branches, and bearing fruit. Kind of like in a garden.

Jesus is the true vine. Without Him, we are nothing. In Him we find purpose, and meaning and true rest. As I remain in Him, and He in me, I will bear fruit. Fruit of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Fruit that saves me from the pit of worry and control, fruit that blesses others and lifts their eyes to Him.  I don’t need to be worrying about other branches. I need to tend to my own.

Remember that definition of yielding? As we yield to Him, we give in to His better, we submit to Him and become flexible, supple and pliable like clay. If our natural tendency is to give way under the ‘pressure’ of His perfect love, we produce a yield. It is only when we remain in Him that we become productive in His Kingdom.

Friends, lets learn to yield ourselves to Him. I promise, the yield you receive will be beautiful.

Perhaps you are walking on the path of waiting as you read this. I am so aware that our wait for children was so short in comparison to so many. I often had to remember that impatience is not infertility. I know some of you waited years, and perhaps are still waiting, who know that their chances of naturally conceiving are highly unlikely without a miracle. You are so special and so loved. I hold you in my heart.

I found the following resources really helpful as I waited;

https://barrentobeautiful.com/  - some of the posts on this blog were such a comfort to my heart.

http://www.organicchristianliving.com/yet-i-will-rejoice-infertility-bible-reading-plan/    - something just clicked in my heart reading this. I especially enjoyed what she wrote about Hannah and Samuel.

The Bible  - the greatest resource for anyone who waits. As one once wrote 'earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal'.  

God's Perfect Timing

This is not an original title. This is something we throw about a lot as Christians. God’s timing is perfect. It applies to all kinds of situations and I can pretty much guarantee that someone has said this to you at some point in your life.

As a Christian you also probably have experiences that prove this to be true. When you got that job at the last minute, or when you drove home on a whim and the next day your parent was rushed into hospital and you were just right where you needed to be, at the right time.

However, if you are anything like me, you can be a slow leaner.

There was a time a little while ago in my life where I was hoping and praying for something new. I had this idea of how things would unfold and I knew when I wanted it to happen. Unfortunately I found myself a few months past my ideal time frame and I was starting to get anxious.

I remember sitting in church and not being able to concentrate on the message. As I watched people around me and prayed, the phrase ‘my heart’s desire’ popped into my mind. I began to pray that God would give me my heart’s desire.

At the end of the service I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and a lady from our church quickly started speaking to me, as though she needed to get the words out, like she had been waiting all the service to tell me. This is what she said… 

‘God will give you the desire of your heart, and it will happen in His time’.  

I remember bursting into tears as soon as she said it.

It still gives me shivers just thinking about it. At the time I felt so humbled that God had heard my prayer and sent his servant to relay His message to me. There was no way I could explain this away the way I might have done if the thought had popped into my own head. This lady at church is my friend, but we aren’t super close and I had never before shared anything personal about my life with her. The fact that she had used the exact phrase that I had been praying about blew me away, and it still does!

We prayed together and I went home feeling positive and excited about the next stage of my life.

Months later and I was still waiting.

You see, even though God had clearly told me this would happen in His time, I was still trying to make it happen in my own time. I would think, I would like it to have happened before my birthday…before Christmas…before….

One day as I felt overwhelmed with disappointment I began to think about what God had said to me. Yes, He would give me the desire of my heart, and I believed it with every part of me. Yes, it would happen in His time, and I was ok with this. But I realised that I was still expecting His time to be in my time frame.

I began to realise…this might not happen for you in a few weeks, it might not happen in a few months, and it might not even have happened by next year. This is going to happen in God’s time, and that might not be anywhere near your idea of what is right, or even perfect.

I had been putting so much pressure on myself trying to make something happen, which I had very little control over.

When we are going through a challenging time we are vulnerable, and there is so much the enemy will try and do in these times. In that season of my life I went through a tonne of lies, comparison, feeling like I had failed and some really sad moments. I questioned Gods love for me, and at times felt like He had left me off the list of blessing, as I watched many people receive what I prayed for.  

That time in my life, where I finally began to accept God’s timing, was such a breakthrough for me. I began to relax, mentally and physically, as I realised that I didn’t have to try and make something happen myself. I began to soak in God’s goodness, His authority and His deep, deep love for me. I began to truly believe that what God had given me right then in that moment was my portion, and that it was GOOD.  

I began to thank Him that I hadn’t received what I longed to receive. I thanked Him that He knew the beginning from the end, that He knew what was good for me, and that He would bless me in this way just at the right time, when I was ready. I thanked Him for all the things He had given me now, for the things I could do now that I wouldn’t be able to do when my life changed.

Thanking God for the very thing He was yet to give me changed my mind set in a really powerful way.  

There were still moments that were hard, but there was also moments were I felt so overwhelmed with Gods love, his kindness and mercy towards me and His hand on my life. My God had not brought me so far to leave me. I began to see that God was coming for me, in my despair and sadness. He was fighting for me when I felt overwhelmed with emptiness.

If you are struggling with waiting for your heart’s desire to be fulfilled, I encourage you to accept God’s timing, to accept that this may not happen when you want it to. That can be so hard and it can hurt. But by doing so, by submitting to God, you enter into His rest, into a place of peace and joy and hope that the world cannot give. I encourage you to thank Him for His wisdom and goodness, and trust Him to lead you into all good things in His timing. Talk to a trusted friend about your struggle, and know that you are uplifted in prayer. Feel free to give me a message if you would like me to pray for you.

There is not a moment in your life that God has left you.

This isn’t punishment; this is the start of a miracle.

I was looking over my journal and found Psalm 23 from The Passion translation which I had written out. God has often used this Psalm to speak into my life, and I hope it encourages you today.

 

‘The Lord is my best friend and shepherd. I always have more than enough.

He offers a resting place for me in His luxurious love.

His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss.

That’s where He restores and revives my life.

He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure and leads me along in His footsteps of righteousness so that I can bring honour to His name.

Lord, even when Your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for You already have!

You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.

Your authority is my strength and peace!

The comfort of Your love takes away my fear.

I’ll never be lonely for You are near.

You become my delicious feast even when my enemies dare to fight.

You anoint me with the fragrance of Your Holy Spirit.

You give me all I can drink of You until my heart overflows.

So why would I fear the future?

For Your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.

Then, afterwards, when my life is through, I’ll return to Your glorious presence to be forever with You’

I've been friends with these girls since I was 12 and they are still two of my bestest feiend's. We know each other like the back of our hands. Always thankful for them.

2018, The Year Of...

I’m writing this on a Sunday morning, looking out at frosty rooftops and a beautiful blue sky. I can’t believe its January again! 2018 has already taught me that reality and my plans never really go hand in hand, since I spent yesterday throwing up and sleeping, when I had hoped to write this, do some baking, get through a lot of laundry and see some friends. But this morning I can write, while my husbands at church and I’m starting to feel a little better. 

2017 was such a special year for us. I remember this time last year so well, when we excitedly booked flights to Guatemala and headed out there in March. It was the year of miracle answers to prayers with work, and since we got back we were able to serve in church through Sunday School and leading worship. I had a lot of baby cuddles, tried new recipes and attended some beautiful weddings with Roy. We did Total Warrior in August, something I never would have imagined myself doing, but which I really enjoyed. I especially enjoyed training for it, getting out in the morning in the sunshine (and rain!), jogging the lanes and fields around our pretty little village. 

The second part of the year was a little harder on us, but still filled with happy moments. Roy has been working most evenings and Saturdays outside, building a new shed/garage and landscaping the garden. It has been a big project, and has meant less time for us to get away together, but it has been a good opportunity for him to learn new skills and to add value to our home. Roy loves a project and I’m so proud of how hardworking he is. We got to visit London for a couple of days over Christmas, where we walked 30k and had a lot of fun being us. 

The New Year sort of crept up on us unexpectedly. We had just got back from London, and Christmas had been busy with lots of family and travelling up and down the M6. I think for me especially, I felt a sort of trepidation about another year. I would look on social media and see a lot of posts about how people couldn’t wait for a New Year, how they were so excited about what it would bring, how they were ready for it! And I was thinking, ‘I don’t feel ready at all. The start of 2018 doesn’t look like I expected it to. I’m not sure what it’s going to bring, and I don’t like that feeling!’ 

Sometimes life doesn’t look like we expected it too, or how we hoped it would. How are you meant to feel when your idea of this stage of your life is not the same as your reality? I don’t have all the answers, all I can say is I get it. I see you, and I understand. 

I think one thing I have realised is that our sense of hope and joy cannot be found in anything other than the person of Jesus. Otherwise we will be disappointed. You may have hoped for a Christmas and New Year made more exciting by that promotion, or the proposal you had dreamed of, or for the sale of your house and being in a new home ready for a new year. When these things do not happen, we are left with what we have always had, and it just doesn’t seem enough. But the truth is He is enough.

Sometimes it can be looking up to the Heavens and saying ‘Nothing is like I hoped, and I know You could change that with one word. But you haven’t, and I trust that it is because You know better. I’m submitting myself to You again, because where else would I go? You have my heart’ 

I could give you a million truths from the Bible and I could share with you about thanking the Lord for what you do have, and trusting Him to provide all you need, and that is all good stuff. But there are moments of sadness in life where I think all we can do is just BE. Be still and sad and realise that it is ok to not always have it all together. God didn’t choose to love us because we were perfect, sinless beings who only ever experienced happiness and always got what they wanted. He chose to love us in our brokenness, our pride and failure. 

He loves you now, whether your pain has been created by your own hands, or if you are the victim of something you had no control over.  

The point is that we can know with all assurance that God is with us. And that HE IS GOOD. 

There is hope for anyone who enters into a New Year with a heavy heart. Hope in the shape of the cross. A life given for us so that we can know LIFE. So that we can have a face to face conversation with the creator of the universe, and so that we can have hope for each day that He is moving, working, hearing and acting. 

Sometimes it is helpful to think about the things we can change, when there are issues in our life we have no control over. The beautiful thing about a new year is the fresh start it provides, the first page of a 365 day book. I was praying and writing about 2018 and what I purposed for this new year (Ann Voskamp has a really good resource to help you with this, I can leave the link below), and I noticed some pretty strong themes. I’ll share a little of what I wrote below…

‘In 2018 I desire to grow more in my relationship with Christ. I purpose to embrace His plan instead of tightly holding mine. When I am with other people I want to make the most of the opportunity to bless someone, even if I feel tired or sad. I want to grow in being more present in that moment with that person, instead of letting my mind wander. I choose to see God’s will for each day, always being thankful for everything He has given me’ 

I see you, disappointed burden carrier. I pray for victory in your life. I pray that you would know with all certainty that God is making a way for you. Take a new grip with your tired hands and always remember that nothing is impossible for the Lord.  

Here’s to a blessed 2018. How can it not be, when we know Jesus.