Yield Yourself To Me

‘I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing’.
Last summer I sat in a girls bible study, listening to worship music, and this verse came to mind. And then, the still, small voice of God whispered, ‘yield yourself to Me’.

That was the start of the journey, God preparing my heart for the challenge ahead. Once again He showed me grace I have never deserved.

Dictionary.com defines yielding as ‘inclined to give in, submissive, compliant’, or ‘tending to give way, especially under pressure; flexible; supplie; pliable’. Interestingly it also has this definition ‘(of a crop, soil etc), producing a yield; productive’. 

The story that led to us finding out we were expecting a baby is too long for this post. Perhaps one day I will share it. Suffice to say we had to wait, for just a little while. I am so very thankful for God’s timing.

Needless to say I had an idea of what would be best for Roy and I, and our family. I had to learn, month by month, to lay down my idea of what was right and to pursue Jesus. Slowly I started to learn that all I really need, is Him.

It took time for this to sink in for me. It’s hard, is it not, to let go of our plans. I had to learn to submit, to give way to the Lords way. To be like clay in His hands, supple and pliable. Oh these times in life are hard. But these are truly the times I have felt most satisfied in my relationship with Christ. I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew in whose hands I was held.

A miracle happened this Easter. And our child is due on Christmas Day. Jesus has already woven His story into this baby’s life. After all, baby Emerson was His child before He/She belonged to Roy and I. Dreamt up in the imagination of God, formed in the darkness of my womb.

I still feel like I am at the start of the story. I am definitely still on the journey of learning to yield. I don’t believe that women get pregnant because they ‘relax’, or because of really anything they do. God alone ordains creation. He alone decides the times of our lives.

So a year on, I’m still learning how to yield myself, and others to Him.

We Ellershaw’s have a very strong protective streak. I know this is an Ellershaw thing, because I have seen it over and over with my dad. Dad was not happy about other road users giving me abuse as I nervously learnt to drive. Dad stood up for me when a fellow netball player tried to take my position without the permission of the coach. Meanwhile mum was furiously whispering that it didn’t matter and that he shouldn’t make a fuss!

I’ve seen it in my brothers and I see it in me. I am very protective of the people I love. My big brother in law found this out early into my relationship with Roy. Let’s just say I have a pretty good death stare when someone takes the mick out of my guy! My friends have found it out over the years too. I was definitely the mother of my school friendship group. My friend Helen just started going out with my brother Mark and was telling me about a situation where he was in her corner. We laughed about the Ellershaw protective streak coming out in full force.

I am thankful for my father’s example of caring for and protecting his family. I’m thankful that I inherited his protective nature, because it meant I would step in when someone was being treated cruelly on the bus. I can’t stand to see people being treated unfairly or without respect.

I got my dad’s protective streak, and my mum’s fierce love. If I had my way I would protect the people I loved from any and everything that might harm them. This comes out the most with Roy. It comes out in the tiniest things, from him having a doctor’s appointment to confusion over how he might be paid for a job. I want to protect him from any type of pain, however small. So I worry. I worry and worry about the most insignificant things.

If I’m like this with Roy, an adult perfectly capable of looking after himself, imagine what I might be like with the tiny, helpless human I’m growing.

So yes, I’m still learning day by day to yield myself to God. To yield my hopes and plans to Him. To yield my people to Him. To trust that no matter what He might lead our family through, we can get through it because He is with us.

I have learnt a little more that God is enough for me. It comes through, as I wait to hear that precious heartbeat in a midwife appointment, or as the cool gel gets placed on my tummy and I wait to see the image of our little one on the screen.

It might break me in two, but I know in my heart that I can walk through anything if He is with me. And He is always with me.

I don’t need to play God, trying to protect people from pain that I have no control over. I don’t need to keep taking my problems out of His hands and obsess over how I can fix them. I am not the hero in the story of my life. Jesus is.

Recently I heard God’s whisper again. He said ‘tend to your own garden’. I’ve been praying over this, because I’m not totally sure what He means. But I’ve just realised that the verse he gave me last year is about vines and branches, and bearing fruit. Kind of like in a garden.

Jesus is the true vine. Without Him, we are nothing. In Him we find purpose, and meaning and true rest. As I remain in Him, and He in me, I will bear fruit. Fruit of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Fruit that saves me from the pit of worry and control, fruit that blesses others and lifts their eyes to Him.  I don’t need to be worrying about other branches. I need to tend to my own.

Remember that definition of yielding? As we yield to Him, we give in to His better, we submit to Him and become flexible, supple and pliable like clay. If our natural tendency is to give way under the ‘pressure’ of His perfect love, we produce a yield. It is only when we remain in Him that we become productive in His Kingdom.

Friends, lets learn to yield ourselves to Him. I promise, the yield you receive will be beautiful.

Perhaps you are walking on the path of waiting as you read this. I am so aware that our wait for children was so short in comparison to so many. I often had to remember that impatience is not infertility. I know some of you waited years, and perhaps are still waiting, who know that their chances of naturally conceiving are highly unlikely without a miracle. You are so special and so loved. I hold you in my heart.

I found the following resources really helpful as I waited;

https://barrentobeautiful.com/  - some of the posts on this blog were such a comfort to my heart.

http://www.organicchristianliving.com/yet-i-will-rejoice-infertility-bible-reading-plan/    - something just clicked in my heart reading this. I especially enjoyed what she wrote about Hannah and Samuel.

The Bible  - the greatest resource for anyone who waits. As one once wrote 'earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal'.