They are beautiful. Usually set in somewhere permanently sunny, such as America, or South Africa, or Australia, these video's show the highlights of a couples special day. Set to beautiful music, they start as the bride and her bridesmaids get ready, filming the moment the bride steps out in front of her family and friends, wearing a beautiful white dress, radiant and lovely. It shows the moment she walks down the aisle with her doting dad, and catches the tears her husband to be can't help but shed at her beauty. You watch them exchange vows under an arch of flowers, their guests sat watching from chairs decorated with mason jars and an aisle bejeweled with flickering candles.
As you watch them, you wonder just how much work it is going to take to make your own day anywhere near as beautiful as that. For a start, an outdoor wedding is not a good idea in England, and I'm pretty sure that amount of flowers costs more than a small car. It would sure take a chunk out of our savings for a house. But it would be worth it, right?
Because your wedding day is meant to be perfect.
Perfection. What does it mean to you?
Since this time last year, I have realised how much I chase perfection. Early this year I started leading worship at my church, and I have to tell you, it's been hard for me. It's made me come uncomfortably close to the truth that I am just not perfect. I am not great at guitar. I had no idea how hard it was to pick songs and put so much time and energy into preparing for Sunday. Most times I get up to lead worship and wonder why I want to do it in the first place, and want to sit back down so people won't see my mistakes. So I can go back to hiding the fact that under the gentle smile hides a lot of ugliness.
This morning, I woke up with the heavy realisation that I am not perfect. The day before I had spent very little time with God. I was too busy trying to get through my day at work, so I could get home and watch Bake Off, alone thank you very much. In those early moments I got that sinking feeling you get when you know you have messed up. You wonder if God will want anything to do with you. Surely this time, He must be shaking His head and putting a big red cross next to your name.
You see, this morning I watched a wedding video. And God, in His wonderful grace, gave me a gift. As the opening notes played, I turned my attention from the stunning bride before me, and to the words being sung.
'You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us'
I closed my eyes and listened to the words. And thanked God for the truth. He is making a beautiful thing out of me. I know it, because it says it in His Word.
'And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is fully finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns'. Philippians 1v6
I know my life is not perfect. But I am beginning to see that it is ok, that God never expected perfection from us. He knows our weaknesses, in fact he created us with them so that we could rely on his grace. So that when we do good things, people will look at us, knowing our past failures and present fragility, and KNOW there is something greater at work.
Right now, my worship leading is not perfect. In all honesty, it will never be. But I can keep going, because I know it is what God has called me to, and I can be so thankful that He has answered my frustrated prayers of not so long ago, to serve Him and his people the way I had always yearned too.
And my wedding day is not going to be like one of those wedding videos. I know that. I will not have perfectly designed invitations and I have not got an amazing back garden complete with water feature and lake as a venue. I will not look like those brides with their million dollar dresses and faces.
But one day, I will be a bride more beautiful than anything seen on Pinterest or Ruffled.
'And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. The He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new" And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful'. Revelation 21v4-5
How can we do anything else but praise Him?
Right now, on earth, He is still calling us back with arms wide open. His love and mercy is unfathomable, because He never gives up on me. He is so, so faithful. He hasn't finished with me. I know each day He is making me more like his Son, and I know this time next year I will look back on all I have learnt and see how much more like Him I am becoming.
And one day, I will stand at the gates of eternity. The promise of His Word will become reality, and I will walk forward into glory. And I know, as tears of joy flow down my face, my Lord will wipe each one away, and whisper to me 'Behold, I have made you new'.
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