Monday, 30 March 2015

In pursuit of Holiness

'So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your own ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, ‘You must be holy because I am holy’.
1 Peter v14-16

Repentant I prayed ‘Father, forgive me’.

Soon after I got up, went to my phone and deleted Instagram.

Holiness.

For my big brother, Instagram is a way of expressing his creativity. He uses it to post beautiful photos, often of our little Bella Ellershaw (most beautiful spaniel alive) or the hard work he has completed on his house. His photos inspire me and allow him to use the artistic gifting he has been given.

My friend OJ posts amazing sunsets that show Cumbria in all its glory. His photo’s open my eyes to God’s incredible creation and make me watch out for some of the artwork God paints in the skies every day for our pleasure.

I know countless pastors and worship leaders use Instagram to build up and encourage their followers, and to let them know of exciting ventures and events.

How do I use Instagram? Selfies.

There aint a thing wrong with selfies. I love all the photos I have hung up in my room with my best friends. They remind me of fun we have had. But there is a lot wrong with my attitude towards posting these selfies on Instagram.

For a long time I had a Blackberry whose pin number I had no idea of, so I couldn’t download Instagram, or anything else for that matter. Still, I would see these photos been uploaded to Facebook, and be so jealous for it. I would look at the images of my beautiful friends with their boyfriends, and be pretty desperate to have my own collection. Unfortunately though, as I scrolled through the photos I got more and more dissatisfied with myself, the way I looked, and even the potential coolness of #RoyandRach.

Once I got a new phone and downloaded Instagram the same day, I could upload to my heart’s content. Cute filter on this, a little light change on that, and viola, perfect couples selfie. Or perfect mother daughter selfie. Or whatever else I could make perfect and pretty.

As I got some likes I felt good. I felt like finally I was at Cool Couple status. How happy I was to look at these flawless photos on my phone.

And somewhere some girl looked at those photos, and wondered why she and her boyfriend weren’t that cool, or reasoned that if she looked a little more like me she might actually have a boyfriend instead of spending her Saturday nights watching a film in her pjs.

See where I’m going with this? To make myself feel better I impose on others my own hash tagged happiness, but unfortunately, that only leads to others feeling less than good enough. It’s a bitter cycle.

I have a Heavenly dad who has made me and delights in me. I have an earthly dad who has raised me to know my worth and has told me every day how much he loves me. I have a future husband who has chosen me and committed himself to me, who knows me and STILL wants to marry me! He thinks I’m cute but he thinks I’m much, much more than that.

Still, I will look for that affirmation from a guy walking past me on a street to 50+ likes on Instagram. And that is not Holiness. That is slipping back into my old way of living to satisfy my own desires. It is saying my worth is found in my physical attraction and if I don’t get that I am worthless. It is pride and arrogance and it puts me on the throne as Lord and ruler of my own life.

We as children of God are called to live in freedom. Galatians 5v1 says ‘For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery’. If I continue to base my worth in the way I appear, then I am submitting to slavery. There is no freedom in constantly measuring all I am and own against others. It is exhausting and sinful, and it consumes my heart and soul with self. I find myself falling to my knees again and again thirsting for God’s grace when it has been available at all times; I have just been too caught up in myself to recognise it.

As women we would all love to come out from under the yoke of self-image and self-worth. But what if practical steps can be taken to help us with this and we are not taking them?

Please don’t think I’m being self-righteous here. The Holy Spirit has been prompting me to get rid of Instagram for a long time, and I have ignored it, because I like looking pretty in selfies, and those filters sure help. I have a feeling I will need to delete Pinterest soon too. Right now it is helping me with ideas for our new house, but I know when I’m a young wife with a burnt apple  pie and un ironed laundry coming out of my ears it will probably make me feel pretty down about myself!

Another bonus to getting rid of the ‘Gram has been the extra time it has given me. Before I would look on my News Feed as soon as I woke up, and then at lunch time if the conversation dried up and when I got home. I believe time is a gift, and God hasn’t blessed me with it so I can stare at a phone. I have found that time I have gained can now be spent reading his Word, serving my family or getting round to writing this blog post. Often I fill that space with TV and Pinterest. But He is continuing to challenge me to spend the precious gift of spare time in ways that sharpen me, bless others, and most importantly, make me more like Him. In essence, being Holy.

I love the idea of being Holy. I know for some it might bring to mind some ‘holier-than-thou’ individual whose utter perfection completely crushes those around them. But I long to be a Holy woman of God, someone that shines with inner beauty and purpose, whose gentle and quiet spirit builds up those around her and encourages others to shine brightly also. Who invites people into her home not so she can show off her expensive furnishings and perfect marriage, but so that she can bless and comfort others. A woman whose wisdom comes from fear of the Lord and who knows her God is jealous for her, so she gives Him everything she is.

I hope this post encourages you. I pray you feel challenged to clear out the rubbish (sin) in your life to make room for good, and to think of practical steps you can take so that you can experience the freedom you were created for. I pray you are inspired to be real and imperfect, so that the power of God can shine all the more brightly through you.

 ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us’.

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