2018, The Year Of...

I’m writing this on a Sunday morning, looking out at frosty rooftops and a beautiful blue sky. I can’t believe its January again! 2018 has already taught me that reality and my plans never really go hand in hand, since I spent yesterday throwing up and sleeping, when I had hoped to write this, do some baking, get through a lot of laundry and see some friends. But this morning I can write, while my husbands at church and I’m starting to feel a little better. 

2017 was such a special year for us. I remember this time last year so well, when we excitedly booked flights to Guatemala and headed out there in March. It was the year of miracle answers to prayers with work, and since we got back we were able to serve in church through Sunday School and leading worship. I had a lot of baby cuddles, tried new recipes and attended some beautiful weddings with Roy. We did Total Warrior in August, something I never would have imagined myself doing, but which I really enjoyed. I especially enjoyed training for it, getting out in the morning in the sunshine (and rain!), jogging the lanes and fields around our pretty little village. 

The second part of the year was a little harder on us, but still filled with happy moments. Roy has been working most evenings and Saturdays outside, building a new shed/garage and landscaping the garden. It has been a big project, and has meant less time for us to get away together, but it has been a good opportunity for him to learn new skills and to add value to our home. Roy loves a project and I’m so proud of how hardworking he is. We got to visit London for a couple of days over Christmas, where we walked 30k and had a lot of fun being us. 

The New Year sort of crept up on us unexpectedly. We had just got back from London, and Christmas had been busy with lots of family and travelling up and down the M6. I think for me especially, I felt a sort of trepidation about another year. I would look on social media and see a lot of posts about how people couldn’t wait for a New Year, how they were so excited about what it would bring, how they were ready for it! And I was thinking, ‘I don’t feel ready at all. The start of 2018 doesn’t look like I expected it to. I’m not sure what it’s going to bring, and I don’t like that feeling!’ 

Sometimes life doesn’t look like we expected it too, or how we hoped it would. How are you meant to feel when your idea of this stage of your life is not the same as your reality? I don’t have all the answers, all I can say is I get it. I see you, and I understand. 

I think one thing I have realised is that our sense of hope and joy cannot be found in anything other than the person of Jesus. Otherwise we will be disappointed. You may have hoped for a Christmas and New Year made more exciting by that promotion, or the proposal you had dreamed of, or for the sale of your house and being in a new home ready for a new year. When these things do not happen, we are left with what we have always had, and it just doesn’t seem enough. But the truth is He is enough.

Sometimes it can be looking up to the Heavens and saying ‘Nothing is like I hoped, and I know You could change that with one word. But you haven’t, and I trust that it is because You know better. I’m submitting myself to You again, because where else would I go? You have my heart’ 

I could give you a million truths from the Bible and I could share with you about thanking the Lord for what you do have, and trusting Him to provide all you need, and that is all good stuff. But there are moments of sadness in life where I think all we can do is just BE. Be still and sad and realise that it is ok to not always have it all together. God didn’t choose to love us because we were perfect, sinless beings who only ever experienced happiness and always got what they wanted. He chose to love us in our brokenness, our pride and failure. 

He loves you now, whether your pain has been created by your own hands, or if you are the victim of something you had no control over.  

The point is that we can know with all assurance that God is with us. And that HE IS GOOD. 

There is hope for anyone who enters into a New Year with a heavy heart. Hope in the shape of the cross. A life given for us so that we can know LIFE. So that we can have a face to face conversation with the creator of the universe, and so that we can have hope for each day that He is moving, working, hearing and acting. 

Sometimes it is helpful to think about the things we can change, when there are issues in our life we have no control over. The beautiful thing about a new year is the fresh start it provides, the first page of a 365 day book. I was praying and writing about 2018 and what I purposed for this new year (Ann Voskamp has a really good resource to help you with this, I can leave the link below), and I noticed some pretty strong themes. I’ll share a little of what I wrote below…

‘In 2018 I desire to grow more in my relationship with Christ. I purpose to embrace His plan instead of tightly holding mine. When I am with other people I want to make the most of the opportunity to bless someone, even if I feel tired or sad. I want to grow in being more present in that moment with that person, instead of letting my mind wander. I choose to see God’s will for each day, always being thankful for everything He has given me’ 

I see you, disappointed burden carrier. I pray for victory in your life. I pray that you would know with all certainty that God is making a way for you. Take a new grip with your tired hands and always remember that nothing is impossible for the Lord.  

Here’s to a blessed 2018. How can it not be, when we know Jesus.